the secret Archive

The Wong in Review for the Year 2012

January 2nd, 2013

Happy New Year from Miami!

Omens that the year is already off to a fantastic start:

1. I saw a couple doing it doggy style on the beach of  South Beach last night.
2. A gross guy hit on me.
3. A man yelled from his car “Ride on the sidewalk you bitch!” while I was bike riding on the side of the road. (Even if it was legal to ride on the sidewalk, there was none.)

All these signs point to Hell Yes!  2013! Let’s do it!

For me, 2013 is going to be a year of major SHIFTING.  Last year was supposed to be a year of major shifting away from theater and more towards a balance between that and writing/acting/ commentating/ filmmaking, but somehow I ended up on tour for six months– not a bad landing spot, sure.  But this year, I’m throwing my girl balls to the walls and am really giving my life the space to make dramatic change so I can really be more balanced, healthy, and happy as a creative person.

Like any good self-help junkie, I’ve been sampling different life coaches to build a regimen of support and accountability around my goals.  After looking at some long term coaching options that ran at $2500-$4500 for a few months to a year (wtf?!), I joined Michelle Ward’s “Clubhouse” at $147/year.  She’s a fantastic career coach for creatives with an amazing business model herself.  On her recommendation, I am doing two things: sizing up 2012 (below), and writing a letter from the year 2014 where I size up and visualize 2013 (that will be in a private google doc for nobody to see but me!).

Great stuff that Happened in 2012, by Category (Michelle says to do it by the month, but that’s too tedious right now)

Dealing with Crap:  With the exception of a big freak-out at the top of the year that had me wondering if I should move to Japan and teach English, a few weirdo situations, some total teary breakdowns at a career coach’s office, and some blow-ups with friends that eventually got figured out, it was relatively drama free so far as I can remember.  I still deal with things like insecurity, jealousy, anxiety– but I am also a lot more patient than I ever remember being, and better able to sit in the NOW.  How did this happen? Is it the yoga? The self help tapes? Age?

End of an era: Oliver, my cat/boyfriend since 2001 (officially 2004) died in February.  I wrote a play about him, so obviously the sudden loss was devastating.  I do miss having him follow me around the house, but I don’t miss the pee and having to keep all fabric off the floor.  His memory will live on forever in my play.

My body:  I exercise so much now!  Practically 5x a week!  Leaving the house is so important for health!  I stopped drinking for a year and my skin cleared up!  My mother reports that I became a fatass this year because  I am at a record high of 155 pounds.  But I look fantastic, and the only thing that I feel bad about is that my mom and aunt told me I looked pregnant. Ouch! that hurt.   (The only thing that got me pregs is a cheese pizza.)

Travels that weren’t for work:  I got to see London in the closing ceremonies of the Paralympics! I spent a month in Edinburgh but don’t have a lot of memories there.  It was just sort of a whirlwind of flyers going by me and just walking a lot and watching a lot of shows.  I also was in Ireland.  It was a wee bit boring but peaceful. I especially loved the Aran Islands and staying in Bed and Breakfasts in West Ireland.

Love Life:  While I didn’t fall in love with anyone this year, I met far fewer douchebags than I usually do.  I also have sifted more new friends from this year’s dating pool than ever before.  Many who supported me by coming to my show this year!  Thanks guys!  And I did find myself just being much more genuine with everyone I met.  This improvement comes because I have been able to be more honest with myself, set better boundaries from the get-go, love myself first, and I’m less on the defensive having finally recovered and moved on from some bad blows in the past.

Creativity:  I took two levels of Improv at UCB with a bunch of 20-somethings.  It was so much fun to just be in a room where I didn’t have to facilitate anything.  I also made a bunch of silly videos on tour which reinvigorated my creative spirit. Sewed an obscene number of vagina puppets for my Kickstarter donors.  And of course, I got to exercise some muscles reworking Going Green the Wong Way and now, CAT LADY for the stage.  I also saw some great movies and shows this year!  And read some great books!

Career: Yes, unfortunately, making a living off what I love seems to suck down most of my life focus. But there is a lot to celebrate.
YouTube Preview Image
I am incredibly proud of this Artist-in-Residence Project I did with the Bus Riders Union.

  • I raised a heartstopping 18K thanks to almost 400 Kickstarter donors to get my first international tour in Scotland underway at the Edinburgh Fringe!
  • I was on the road for about six months!  It was tiring, but nice to be spending more time in the year doing the actual work, not waiting at home to work.
  • A 4 week run of Going Green the Wong Way in LA that kicked ass!
  • Raised 10K in seed money thanks to individual donors and a matching grant from the Center for Cultural Innovation to develop a new work called “The Wong Street Journal.”  Super thank you to my new and returning donors!  I can’t believe we pulled that off!
  • Life on tour brought me to some great cities in 2012: Edinburgh; Savannah, GA; Putney, VT; Portsmouth, NH; Providence, RI; Hartford, CT; Bethlehem, PA and Miami!
  • Did an amazing Artist-in-Residence theater project with the Bus Riders Union.  Tri-lingual! See video above!
  • Recorded some great commentaries for Marketplace, guest blogged for KCET, and wrote a few funny blogs for xoJane!
  • My film version of “Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” allows me to finally retire from touring that show live, and still share the message of the show with new audiences.  I was present at five campuses that screened the film this year!  Lots of campuses are stocking their libraries with the film and our Amazon sales aren’t half bad either!
  • Started to commit to working with a part-time assistant once a week.  I’ve worked with assistants on and off in the past, but I am finally COMMITTING to having someone help so I can focus on the creative work.  She is a budding artist herself and it’s great to be able to feel like a mentor and realize how much I’ve grown in the last few years.  And how fortunate that I can give her something to help her grow.

Money $:  It was looking pretty ugly early in the year, but once the onslaught of tours hit, it felt like that scene in Indecent Proposal… just more $1 bills, than $100 bills!

My Home:  Another year of equity under belt!  Yes, I’m still a homeowner and an artist!  And I paid off my property taxes on time (and lemme tell you, that bill ain’t cheap and gives me a good scare every time it shows up!)  And after almost two years of twiddling my thumbs about how to really “own” my home, I finally threw some nails into the walls and put art up everywhere.  It still has a ways to go, but now, it’s definitely MY roost and I’m proud to bring people home to it.

Some big steps I’m taking this year:

I’m going to look into a “co-working” space to get more work done.
Even if I barely am in LA, I am over working in my PJs all day.  This girl needs company, to get out of the house and a focused space to write, and I need to get a lot of work done while be connected to the big city.

Use the “N” word more often.  “NO.” I’m taking only tours and gigs that I feel strongly about.  I’m not applying for grants for projects I’m not interested in making.  I used to take shows to make me look and feel busy.  Sure, it impressed people, and paid the bills.  But really, all I was doing was distracting myself from really making new work and exploring new ideas and really challenging myself to be capable of even greater things.

Becoming really smarterer! By not drinking anymore! By learning everything!
I really need to learn new things and churn out new ideas, not just proliferate the old ones.    So right now, my one year experiment in sobriety will extend into 2013.  And I’m hyper focused on learning more about the world.

Writing a book proposal
Yes, I did at one point go to graduate school for a year to try to finish a novel (I did finish a 110 page novella that is sitting in my computer) but now I’m going to commit to finishing one kick ass book proposal for “Going Green the Wong Way.”  Whatever happens after that is whatever happens.  But it starts with a proposal and a sample chapter.

Being Open and Not Panicking
Fear helps nobody.  My mantra is, “I’m exactly where I need to be right now, drinking in the world.”

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Category: the secret, vision, winnings

More Cash for Clunkers Tips: #10-19

August 31st, 2009

There was a lot of great feedback from my last Cash for Clunkers post with ideas for Creatives to survive… NO, make that thrive in a recession. I thought I’d post more related less to money and more towards growing joy in life. Here are ideas that I’ve been referring to a lot lately and that I’ve figured out over a good long lifetime. Some of these ideas are adapted from books I’ve read, some I’ve discovered, and others are from creative friends who’ve made livings doing more insanely obscure things than me.

Good luck! It’s the creatives that will help lead us to the light.

More Cash for Clunkers Tips: #10-19

10. Don’t ever ever ever let people characterize you as “broke” or “starving” and don’t ever describe yourself as those things out loud even if you are thinking it or its your “reality.” If you romanticize the idea of struggling, you will be your own self-fulfilling prophecy. ”Broke” and “artist” are not synonymous unless you say they are.

Other words to eliminate from your vocabulary: “victim” (best replaced with the word “survivor”), “struggling” (best replaced with “mastering”) and “trying” (ie You are a writer, you are not trying to be a writer.)

11. Grow an herb garden. Even if all you have is a tiny windowsill and a small handful of dirt. Sometimes when the world is falling apart, it helps have something nuture you as you nuture it. Grow things you can eat. Enjoy the novelty of harvesting your own food. Invite folks over to have a salad that you grew yourself. Watching the slow process it takes for a plant to grow will keep you from overbuying food or wasting food. If you kill your garden by accident, find a better place to garden, or start watering plants in the neighborhood that aren’t dying. Some easy plants to grow that are fun to eat are sweet basil and mint.

12. Get on that Martha Stewart Living tip and make something to improve your home or make a gift. A rag rug, a sock puppet, or just sew up the holes in your socks. Sure you could have a toddler in Saipan make the same thing for 99 cents, but just like gardening, there is a certain joy that is lost in crafting something with your own time and care. I like the tutorials on threadbanger for ideas of things to make. Some projects take less than 15 minutes.

13. Instead of panicking, write down ten possible solutions to the problem. Then action steps. Yay! You just made a blueprint of what to do. If you’re still stuck, go to tip #15 to get help.

14. Distance yourself from complainers, self-victimizers, naysayers, trainwrecks, and energy suckers. Yes, sometimes we are related to them. Yes, there are times when friends need our help. But we can’t help them if they try to cripple us with their crap. There are people who need a friend and there are people who want to pass their problems onto someone else. Set boundaries, find private time, do your thing.

15. Invite someone new to dinner with no ulterior motives. I have 1400 Facebook friends and am probably only close to 200 of them. In the isolation of working at home, I decided to start writing some of the ones on the periphery. “Hey, do you want to hang out? Can I take you to dinner?” It helps if someone you invite has expertise in a field you know nothing about because they will give you insight to life that you never considered before. Invite people over who you admire, don’t invite the folks I caution against in #14.

16. Work to learn, not to earn. If your job pays well but isn’t ultimately serving or providing any insight into what you want to do with your life, it’s often better to be at a less paying job where you can learn more in your field. If you can’t afford to work to learn in your dream field, then volunteer in your dream field.

17. When meeting people who are in a position to move you forward, remember that as an artist who is in this for the long haul, you are cultivating, not hunting. I’ve realized in how irksome it is to be approached with, “Hi Kristina, can you help me with grants?” Nobody likes being constantly bilked for their time and resources, especially from strangers. I’m always happy to help friends and people who have supported me because we have relationships that have been cultivated over time.

18. Find other ways to ask for “help” besides asking for money. With every non-profit holding out their hat, donors are a little fatigued. Here are some ideas for things you can ask for that may be helpful to your art: production or administrative assistance, airline miles, food for a reception, a contact list, rehearsal space. It’s much easier for people to offer resources or things that they can afford to share than part with money.

19. If you are going to ask for money, make it a positive exchange. Let potential donors know the long-term impact their money will have and how their contributions will be honored. Offer a credit in the product you are making. Breakdown how their money might be used in logical and compelling ways (ie $10 will rent an hour of rehearsal space). Believe it or not, most people would prefer to give money to a reputable and trustworthy person who will use the contribution strategically rather than give their money to temporarily plug the holes in a sinking ship. Email pictures of your progress. Nobody is obligated to give you their money, no matter how much it will help you. So never take it for granted. Graciousness counts.

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Category: buy nothing year, the secret, vision, winnings

Carless in LA, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #12: Cash for Clunkers?

July 28th, 2009

Watch out world! I’m throwing down 62 clams in the month of August to buy my first LA Metro bus pass. I’m thinking I’ll wear it around my neck in a plastic laminated necklace like the abuelitas do and push my granny cart filled with groceries up and down Sunset Blvd. I actually don’t know that I ride the bus enough to warrant owning a bus pass. I have to ride the bus 49 times next month to make the “bus ride buffet” ticket worthwhile but I’m home for a full month (for once) so I thought I’d live it up.

Things are getting super busy here very fast. Summers tend to be “downtime” for me. I’m seeing crazy things happen in my line of work. I was in talks with New World Theater at UMass Amherst to bring Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in 2010. Then just a month later, New World Theater had their funding completely cut off by the university! This is pretty ugly as this institution has been around for 30+ years.

I did get a very huge break a few months ago with a MAPFUND grant to develop my new “CAT LADY” show but I haven’t been able to secure a premiere venue or NPN co-commissioner. It’s not that the interest isn’t there, it’s just that every theater on earth is watching their budget. There’s a definite and palpable slowdown in the arts.

So I’ve decided that rather than wail and flail in panic, I’m going to use the money that I had set aside for a car to invest in a new computer and a video camera. And I’m thinking of turning part of the living room in my new Silverlake House into a set that I can shoot different shows in. I’m long overdue for a tech upgrade, I’ve been using the same laptop for five years! And it’s really hot and slow. So look out world, not only will this lady be rocking a bus pass but also a video blog!

I will admit that I’ve been looking at ads for cars. It’s really tempting to buy one. To be able to get to West LA in one hour as opposed to two. These ads are misleading though… this “Cash for Clunkers” thing is so dumb. How is it a 5 year old car can qualify as a clunker but my Mercedes that caught on fire on the 405 couldn’t? Bleh, forget it.

Quite a few of my creative friends are complaining about going broke this summer and I’ve mentioned several times in my blogs how it’s hard to not get sucked into poverty mentality when the news and all your friends are dragging the sky down around you. I find myself having days where I’m like, “Oh god! It’s over! I give up!”

I’m losing sympathy for my friends going who complain of being broke. Their standards of broke are “first world broke.” I have a friend who is a sex worker and says she’s having “survival sex” for money and yet owns a laptop, cell phone, and car. I have another friend who owes me $500 and he’s had months to pay me back, and he calls me from his cell phone to tell me he has run off to New York City (for a vacation).

If you are broke, suck it up, grow up, and deal with it. Because nobody with an IPhone is a victim of anything.

People keep asking me for help with getting money to do their art. The requests were at first flattering because it really felt as if they regard me as successful. But now theses requests have become kind of irritating, like I’m some kind of magic fairy that can say three things to make things happen. If you go way back into my very first blogs, you’ll know, I’ve been at this game for YEARS and only started to make a full time living at it in the last four years. And if you know me well enough, you know it was REALLY REALLY UGLY when I was first at this.

I see people I haven’t seen in a while and the first thing they say is, “Hi Kristina! Can you help me get grant money?”

(“Yeah. Nice to see you too.”)

Is there a sign on my head that says: “My name is Kristina Wong and I can show you how easy it is to get money because I have nothing better to do?” I mean I try to be supportive of people but I feel like that generosity gets taken advantage of.


People asking me to lead them to “magic grant money” irritates me one three levels:

First, I spend 20 hours (if not more) a week doing work related to generating income for my art (that is not my actual art) and most people aren’t willing to put up the BS of arts admin. Even when I’ve taken the time to explain to people how it all works, they either don’t apply for the grant that I just walked them through or ask me to repeat the information to them as if the explanation will become somehow easier. My biggest pet peeve is when they ask me to send copies of my grants so they can play mad libs with them, as if we weren’t doing completely different projects.

Second, I probably make the same amount as many of my artist friends “who are always broke”– the difference is that I manage my finances differently. A lot of my broke friends would not be broke if they just learned to not spend money on stuff they don’t need or buy so much stuff on credit. So it’s not that I have more money than other people, I just allocate my money differently when I get it.

And third, there is no “magic grant money.” Like any other thing that’s earned in this world. Money for your art is also earned, not thrown around to random people like a sweepstakes prize.

So my artist friends going broke but texting away on your iphone… do you need a bail out? Here it is!

NINE Cash for Clunkers Tips for Creatives going Broke who keep asking me to help them with money:

1. Run Away
If you can’t get a job and your career is not going anywhere, sublet your place, give up your apartment, sell your things, and run off to an artist’s retreat where you can live for free. Unfortunately, most of them don’t pay you to be there or accommodate kids. If you can’t get into an artist’s retreat, move in with your parents and be their “loser” 30-something kid who writes screenplays in the basement. Nobody will judge you if they can’t see you! Yay! You just freed up $400-1000 a month in rent!

2. Get someone to burn you a bootleg copy of The Secret and watch it over and over again until you sound possessed.
I am critical of The Secret (ie “The Unofficial Orientation Video for New Angelinos”) because it does place much too much emphasis on material wealth. But hey, it’s Metaphysics for Dummies! There is a critical third step to the process of the Secret that people often forget– ACTION. So stop complaining that nobody sent you $100 after you watched The Secret and start taking action. (And taking action does asking me to lead you through the short cut to money. Because I only know the long route.)

3. Sell your car and get a bus pass.
If you really need money that badly, get over your “I need my car” bullshit and get rid of your car. Cancel your insurance. Cancel your AAA membership. Cancel your gym membership (because the city streets just turned into your gym). Yay! You just freed up $500 a month plus whatever you got for your car.

4. Find something less expensive to replace your drug habit.
Get money. Get stoned. Can’t remember where your money went. Get money. Get stoned. Can’t remember where your money went. Why do broke people still have money for pot? Here’s a suggestion of how to get high instead. Put on a Bob Marley cd, then run around really fast backwards in the hot sun without water, then try to recite poetry, then get a friend to say “whoa, that’s brilliant” at every line. Yay! You just freed up $50-300 a month.

5. Don’t be a bottom feeder.
If you ever done movie background work, you’ve probably met “background lifers.” The people who only talk about doing extra work and getting more extra work, and yet, still think this will lead to something bigger. If you get too obsessed with the stones lining the walkway, you’ll never get to see the inside of the house. Sometimes the “hunting and gathering” way of the artist life prevents us from thinking about the big picture. So think from the top down. Think beyond survival.

6. Drop your $$$ scene study class and take creative classes at TeAda Camp instead. I’m teaching and am a student in at TeAda’s summer camp for adults that’s super affordable for creative people who want to expand their skillset on a budget. You can take classes in movement, voice, acting, improv, yoga and writing for as low as $10 a class. They are drop-in classes so you don’t have to commit to months and months of training. The classes are cheap as hell and a good alternative to that overpriced overhyped stuff offered all over LA. Yay! You just freed up $200-400 a month (depending on what pyramid scheme acting school you were previously enrolled in.)

7. Kick the deadbeat to the curb. (Several times in the head if necessary.)
Are you in a shitty relationship and giving the guy/girl money/ free rent/ food on top of it? Say good- bye! This one is especially for my creative lady friends who are with men who can’t take care of themselves and freeload off your generosity. You deserve a partner who can take care of him or herself and therefore, can support you when you need it. You are not a rescuer. You are not a social worker. You will find better. I’ve kicked a few deadbeats to the curb myself and never looked back. Yay! You’ve just freed up 200 lbs of dead weight!

8. Manage your money between several different checking accounts.
If you are an artist working for yourself, the worst financial thing you can do is pile up all your income into one checking account. You should not pay your rent and your director out of the same account. You should not deposit your big grant check in the same account that you pay for food. I recommend two accounts– a business account and personal account. And have two separate credit cards for business and personal expenses.

Figure out what your personal budget is each month to live. This amount should be your salary and every month write yourself a check from the business account to the personal account in this amount. Even if this means you have several checking accounts with a $0 balance, you will at least get into the habit of managing your money and treating the work you do as a professional.

Ideally, you should have several accounts. (This is something I am still trying to organize in my own life.) You should have a business account, a personal account, an education account (for paying for things to further your learning and growth), a splurge account, an investments fund. There are other methods for breaking these accounts up. When you get money, get in the habit of dividing money in each of these accounts. Yay! You are saving towards retirement!

9. Stop buying shit.
Use the library, wear things twice, make new things out of old things. Make presents for your friends. Our economy is a mess and we’re told to save money by not buying things, but the only way the economy will move is if we buy things. What gives? Run away from the need to buy stuff that can be borrowed, bartered or made! I was going to buy a VHS to DVD converter to convert my analog archives to 0′s and 1′s but found out there was one I could use at the SAG Foundation for free. Yay! I just saved $150!


Presents I made for my friends’ kids.

There! Now stop asking me to help you get money. Or at least have a real conversation with me before you ask. I just helped you get lots of money. If you need more help, I’ll be at the bus stop waiting for you to give me a ride to the next big thing!

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Category: artist life., kristina is so bitchy this week, losing my mind in los angeles, property mogul, the secret, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

Hello it’s 3am, can you teach me about the stock market?

October 16th, 2008

I rarely stay up past midnight, but I was lying in bed as I have been the last few nights looking around at this same darn West LA apartment that I’ve been living in for the last seven years with it’s dingy carpets and cottage cheese ceilings, and post-college furnishings, and yes… rent control (though steadily increasing at 3% a year)…. and I’m thinking….

“I need to get out of here. I really need a space of my own.”

I’ve tried making the move many times to buy property. Like begging my parents to help me. Like motivating myself by drawing a little thermometer set at an insane amounts of money, taping it above my desk, and barely filling it in as I made each tiny deposit. Like looking into being a slumlord in Indiana and owning my own little piece of Section 8 property for $5k.

I’ve read books about buying property. Done all that visualization crap from “The Secret” like lied to poor realtors at Open Houses that “I was in the market for something under $500K” (yeah, WAAAAAAY under!)– this was my way to get into “the mindset” of being a home buyer.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

And as much as I’ve saved (and it’s quite a lot for someone who works as a performance artist, mind you), it still isn’t enough for a down payment on much of anything… in Los Angeles especially. And if I ever do move, I’ll definitely have to buy a car because any of the neighborhoods I could possibly afford are FAAAAAAR from civilization.

I’ve contemplated hitting up amateur night at the Spearmint Rhino to score some cash…. having the world’s most lucrative yard sale…. getting married (yuck!)… and yes, even selling my eggs (GASP!)

(Little Kristinas running about the country so that large Kristina can have her own compost bin in her own lawn, next to her own little house? Yes! It almost came to that.)

I did think about getting a real job for a second… but come on… no need to get irrational here.

And then it dawned on me!

“What a great time to buy stocks!”

Yes, it’s a shitty time for the economy, but this $700 Jazillion Government welfare check should help somehow right? And even if its shit now, it will inevitably go up right??!

RIGHT?!

I have a mutual fund that I bought after 9/11 that is currently tanking (but I have faith it will climb back up, at least, when I’m 65). I’m not even sure what’s in that fund– was it metal? poultry? Hell if I know. I just knew that I wanted a nest egg. And I heard mutual funds were the way to go.

But time to get aggressive! Time to be a day trader! Or… whatever they are called. I’m going to invest in the stock market! Woo hoo!

I’ve tried many times to try to understand the stock market, and I just don’t get it. It also gets discouraging to see people I know who invest in stocks and whose emotional Ricter scales mirror the rise and fall stock market.

Suze Orman talks a good game but I am still confused on how you even go buy stocks. And will a stock broker even work with me if I all I have is $150? Or $50? Or $10. I think they purposely turn company names into weird symbols to shun writerly folks like me who like reading words and sentences.

But I think it’s time for me to play the game. I am up reading about etrade.com and scottrade.com. And there are some cheap books for dummies (that would be me) on how to use these sites. Some are a penny and I’ve already wishlisted them. I have no idea how these sites work, but if I can read a knitting pattern, I sure as hell can learn to do this. And I can move myself out of this apartment all by myself!

The thing is that in my profession, I sometimes feel so disconnected from the real world of dumb American consumption. When I’m in malls I feel like I’ve been sucked into an otherworldly hell. If I was on the Price is Right, I would totally guess the cost of things all wrong.

“Yes, Drew! I think that Ford Fiesta costs $50,o00!”

(After all, I am the one who spent $6k on a junky 1981 Mercedez Benz with 180k miles on it. Only to have it catch on fire.)

I have no idea what the kids are buying because I’m too busy pulling crap out of my fake theatrical vagina in small black box theaters as I comment ironically on my own identity.

How did the price of gold go up? What cars are people driving? My own buying habits are a very poor gauge for how the rest of America consumes. So how will I know what to invest in? This is what I must learn in order to make money on stocks in this shit economy.

If I could be sure that the rest of America spent their money the way I do, then here are Kristina’s stock tips….

Hot Stocks to Invest in, if everyone in American shopped like Kristina Wong

  • Tidy Cats cat litter
  • Michael’s Craft Store (or other stores where you can acquire the materials to make fake vaginas)
  • Metro and Santa Monica Blue Bus
  • US Post Office
  • Long Island Iced teas
  • Merkato (Kristina’s favorite restaurant)
  • Alternative Live Theater spaces
  • Zipcar.com

Kristina’s Junk Bond Tips

  • Laundry Machine downstairs
  • Mexican Produce truck two blocks over that sweeps neighborhood
  • Thai Massage place up the block
  • Jdate.com

Now go! Invest! See you in the little Section 8 property in the sky!

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Category: property mogul, the secret

Bai Bai Show!

October 10th, 2008


Bai Ling, fashion misfit and famous actress (but don’t ask me to name what movies she’s been in because I can only think of a few… “Wild Wild West” and… “Beautiful Country” and hmmm….) came to my show on Friday! She said to me after the show, “You’re crazy! You should end the show nude!” I asked her, “Can I call you ‘Bai Ling’?” and she was like, “Call me ‘Bai anything’!”

Wow, it’s Thursday and I’m finally getting back to work. I’ve been cracked out the last few days just sitting in my own filth, pretending to unpack (my set is still all over the living room), sewing my felt dolls, and slowly facing the reality of two months ahead in LA and no real work. No tour dates, no big shows… just… DOWNTIME (?)

And no real income!! Oh boy! Hit the panic button!!!!!

But wait…

Luckily, I’ve learned that I need to keep myself scheduled. There are a couple grant deadlines this week and a whole host of stuff ahead. So maybe the post partum depression that inevitably hits after a big show will pass right straight by this time around. I do have my BECAUSE IV workshop to float me through the end of the year. That will be fun. And a few little speaking gigs here and there. So it’s a welcome respite and a nice surprise to be home for EIGHT STRAIGHT WEEKS?

What other things can I do to occupy my time? Well, VH1 starts the second season of the “Pick Up Artist.” Plus some other crackalicious shows like “Rock of Love’s Charm School,” and “Real Chance at Love” starring reality show rejects Real and Chance, who were rejected by New York who was rejected by Flavor Flav (twice), who was rejected by Brigette Nielsen. So meta.

What will I do with all this time? I’ve been sewing, watched Season 4 of the office, called a bunch of people who won’t return my calls, pretended to clean, watched theater. Gotten a massage.

I guess I actually have some downtime to create some new art work. IMAGINE THAT! Art time!

I’ve also set a goal to come up with $5000 to put in a “nest egg” account by the end of the year. I am not sure how I will come up with this money though. But it starts with the thought.

Maybe I will sell crap in my apartment. Or hit up amateur night.

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Category: artist life., crafty, hollywood wong, marriage grown up crap, the secret

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