neediness. Archive

Stick it Lin me.

February 28th, 2012

I could go on and on in an unpaid fashion about how as of last week I’m a cat-less cat lady, or how I changed my last name on facebook to reflect my mental marriage to Jeremy Lin…  Or I can link you to  blogs on other websites about the same subjects.

Enjoy my first blog for xoJane about how I’m sexually harassing Jeremy Lin.

I’m a working blogger!

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Category: cat lady, cat pee, loser, neediness., no more dong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.

Feb 14: “Singles Awareness Day”

February 15th, 2009

Today I did stand-up at the Laugh Lounge in the Lower East Side. I’m quite cynical and don’t believe that anyone goes to see stand-up anymore, especially in this economy, or when you can see it for free online, or when it is Valentine’s Day and there are meals to be eaten and action to be had.

I am wrong. There were plenty of couples looking to laugh it out before getting their rocks off. In fact the show was so sold out that I gave up my seat at the comics’ table to some audience members.

Tonight, in what would have otherwise been a small show of comics and their friends, was a packed show with a paying audience (mostly couples) and I don’t know how, but I killed. I was kinda lost the whole time and felt like the people in eyeshot were blankfaced. But I rocked the crap out of my 7 minutes as evidenced by the overall reaction. The one Asian girl in the audience took a picture with me after like I was some kind of celebrity– that’s how much I rocked the shit out of that place.

So much so that the producer said he’d bring me back again for a full on guest spot (a longer set in a more highlighted place in the show.) I do have to say, I was the only girl (and Asian) in the show, and a lot of the comics might as well have shit on the mics their mouths were so dirty– and so the audiences appreciated it when I came up and said first thing, “Nice to be the only girl on an all guy line-up” and started to wipe down the mic with a tissue.

Also, before the show started, some women came up to me and asked if I was the waitress, and I pointed out during my set how “they seemed confused that the nail lady was suddenly waitressing”– it killed.

But in my (post-show celebratory) two long island iced tea haze I have a deep ass question for the world…. ready for this?

At what point it is that people give up on love and just choose to fake/benefit through the motions of it?

Having been as solo traveling as I’ve been the last few years, I’ve had a lot of time to witness people in different cities and the lives they lead in one place. I think about the “settled” down life that I only have with my cat… and at that, I haven’t seen my cat for all of four weeks. My community is scattered across the country. My most stable community is me and my suitcase. It’s me and my body and the conversations I have with myself in transit.

Watching all these couples in the subway, in the street, in the bars and comedy club tonight, I began to think about how many of them have really had the benefit of experiencing their partner in full unrestrained loving ways. How many of them really discover that emotion of pure love (not just lust) together. How many of them are faking it and are drawn to each other because of biology. How much of it is desperation… How much of it comes from full, open, and total pure love?

Which makes me consider love and lust and how different the two are. Lust comes from hunger. Love, from an open and giving spirit.

What fear sets in that prevents us from being ready to love from that open pure place?
When do we decide to cave into that fear and become actors in the game of love just so we can be part of it, as much as we distance ourlselves from it?

Ok, that’s enough deep crap for me, I’m turning in. Good night.

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Category: cat lady, marriage grown up crap, neediness.

The Highest Highs, The Lowest Lows

January 20th, 2008

So I went from being the big Kahuna in Miami to being the doormat du jour in Los Angeles. The CBS showcase is Tuesday and I swear it’s crushing my soul. I appear in one sketch (even my one liner role as Ming the Burmese handjob giver was cut). I never remember theater being so cut-throat. It truly is a business. I don’t regret the experience of the showcase and it really is thickening my skin.

During yesterday’s rehearsal I had the following thoughts. Like really, I had these thoughts…

* “Where can I buy drugs like coke?”
* “Maybe I should call my sex worker friend and see how I can get into her line of work.”
* “Is the bar in my closet high enough to hang myself from?”

I also called my hypnotherapist friend during the rehearsal to schedule an emergency appointment. I’ve never tried hypnotherapy, but right now I need all the magic fairy dust I can get to maintain my sanity.

I was also caught trying to poke my eyes out with my own finger during the rehearsal.

If anything, I am really understanding how important it is that I do my own work and how lucky I am that if this acting stuff never pans out, I will always have performance art to lean on (how freaking strange is that?!). And as much as I want to retire from performance art and make tons of money in ONE city rather than roam the globe for pennies, at least I have my own artistic vision at the end of the day.

My friend, the famous playwright Alice Tuan said that she felt my blogs made it seems like my life was really charmed and easy-ish. Which is so crazy because despite the perks, my life is totally insanely crazy. It was really good seeing Alice last night after the monster day with CBS. I cried and cried and then we laughed together.

Anyway, I’ve been up looking at my press from Miami. Check it.

Miami New Times
(Yet again, I find another opportunity to call out the Korean Pick Up artist like the psycho freak bitch I am.)

Anyway, so I’m planning to go to church today. I need to pray. I don’t care what god. I just need to pray.

I also seem to be on Miami time still. As I’m blogging at 5am and going to bed at 9pm.

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Category: artist life., balance, hollywood wong, i'm kristina wong, losing my mind in los angeles, miami, neediness., press, stamina, vision

I got one foot out the door….

January 2nd, 2008

Still getting everything together for my big residency in Miami! I can’t believe I get to start the year out like this.

So far… no video marriage proposals from my last videoblog. But I did get a comment saying this….

“ya know, you’re kind of sexy. lol. i’ll marry u. i mean u have great natural beauty, but i was just love to see u in something sexy (short and tight, lol), with a little make-up, and in serious mode. that would be very interesting. i’ll be sure to keep the lotion near by should u decide to make a video like that. lol. happy new year!”

Blech. The Wong don’t get sexy for nobody.

Well, at least this flyer makes me excited!

With more street cred than you can shake a pair of Hammer pants at, Kristina Wong makes her Miami debut riffing on notions of freedom in times that would make Joe McCarthy gasp. Excerpts include a satirical homage to “save the world in five minutes” spoken word, a Flashdance tribute, and an explanation (or un-explanation) of why she prefers life in the almighty closet. Bidding paddles will be provided for a live auction of gentrified neighborhoods. Adding an interactive element, Kristina will select a group of South Floridians to perform in one segment alongside her.

Miami Light Project
Kristina Wong
January 16, 2008, 8:00pm
Colony Theater
1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, Fl 33139
Tickets $25.00
For tickets call Ticketmaster at 305.358.5885
or visit

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Category: artist life., balance, dying alone, neediness., stamina, vision

New Year, New Ramblings.

January 1st, 2008

Aw, so far, it’s been a great year. I spent it with friends and laughed a lot more than yesterday when I was lying in bed freaking out about how I’m going to pull off the next three weeks. And then the next three weeks after that… and after that…

I’m taking matters into my own hands and am asking folks to start proposing to me via youtube. Men, women, children, animals…. No marriage proposal too scary or flippant. We must send the energy waves my way so that I will be married to a rich oil tycoon by the end of the year and can retire from performance art to become a lady of leisure.

And guess what! My “Buy Nothing Year” is finally over! Can you believe I went all of 2007 without buying new clothes or non-perishable gifts? It wasn’t that hard, but I did stave off temptation on more than a few occasions. Now…. Let me at the mall! I got an economy to feed!

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Category: artist life., balance, buy nothing day year, buy nothing year, cat pee, losing my mind in los angeles, neediness., sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., vision

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