mortified Archive

Celebrating Christmas by Condemning the Innocent– Tune into 90.7 at 7am Christmas Day!

December 25th, 2008

Tomorrow we celebrate the birth of Christ in our separation of church and state country by gorging on food and indulging in rampant consumerism and waste. Oh yes, and we spend time with those we love…..

So what better day than Christmas to read bad poetry and overly dramatic entries from the journals I kept as a 13 year old?

Tune in at 7am PST on Christmas Day as Riku Matsuda has me on his morning show reading 13 year old Kristina Wong diary entries and poems!

You can listen to the show anywhere in the world at

Listen as I spend the most celebratory day in the year of change totally humiliating one of the many pretend boyfriends I had at 13 (or, if anything, humiliating myself! Yay!).

I do believe the show will be archived if you miss it.

*****ALSO Please join my fan page. Every new fan adds a symbolic centimeter to my ego penis.

love, Kristina

ps To my Jewish friends! I also eat Chinese food with you on Christmas Day! We are one! (Yes, the joke never gets old, as long as I’m around.)

→ Leave a comment

Category: mortified

Poems by Kristina Wong, Age 13

December 24th, 2008

I was looking through old journals for some teenage writing to submit to Mortified (a reading series of adults reading from their teen journals). I’m learning that not only was I not getting laid at 13, but I was also a bitch, a homophobe, and a hopeless/hapless romantic.

Come and read some of the great delights of my youth. Transcribed below. I’m screaming as I read some of this stuff. It’s godawful and so wonderously embarrassing. But I can just pin the blame of these literary horrors on my youth and sassy San Francisco upbringing.

I think I wrote the below poem after being rejected by Yasuhara Inagaki. And by “rejected” I mean that I had a secret crush and he told someone that I was stupid and ugly.

Burn in hell Yasu, burn in hell.

Untitled Poem by Kristina Wong, Age 13

as the sun comes over over the clouds
the sun peers
light streams through the cotton clouds
on the purple horizon
days of heat
nights of passion
no need to become
no need to be
why oh why?
is life so sweet that a first kiss is deadly?
words, to live by
i’m a poet, I’ll starve.
i’m still a poet.
gosh i’m a fool i can’t believe i thought Yasu might like me.
life stinks

→ Leave a comment

Category: mortified