miami Archive

The Final Meow in Miami!

January 17th, 2013

I have been in Miami almost one full month!  The show has been going over so well and we close this weekend! This audience really gets me!!  The reviews have been fantastic, but the feedback from the audience is even more interesting.  A lot of audience members say things like, “I can’t believe you share yourself like this every night!” And people just really seems to get the themes in the show– the loneliness, the inability to feel like you can participate in “real life,” that sometimes there feels like there is a choice between living inside art and life.

Read the Rave Reviews from the Critics!

“You never know what to expect!” ~ Jesse Leaf ~ Around Town

“This Cat Lady purrs!” ~ Bill Hirschman ~ Florida Theatre On Stage

“Entertaining Olio! ~ Marj O-Neill-Butler ~ miamiARTzine

“Rules-be-damned!” ~ Christine Dolen ~ Miami Herald

“Everyone needs to see CAT LADY!” ~ Happymamatravels

“Laugh your head off!” ~ Neil de la Flor ~ KnightArts

“Offbeat!” ~ Hap Erstein ~ Palm Beach Arts Paper


I’m not sure if it’s my sobriety or what… but this is the tamest trip to Miami I’ve ever had.  No hook-ups! No coke binges! No bodies in back alleys!  Where am I? Dejavu, I think I said that of my last trip to Miami.   That trip was Hedonism compared this one.    Now that I don’t drink, I just find myself staying out of trouble by working pretty hard here, taking a lot of naps when I can’t stare at the computer any longer.  When I leave here I will have taken yoga class for 20 straight days!  Talk about fulfilling some serious New Years resolutions!  As much as I’m hating the monotony of yoga, it’s like my body doesn’t know a day without it.

I wrote an essay that xoJane published about my experimental year in sobriety.  The user comments are a trip– everything from people telling me I’m an alcoholic to calling the essay drivel (because of my first paragraph) to telling me to drink again.  Oh world!  Admittedly, I did write the piece projecting myself as much more conflicted about whether or not to drink again (Hey!  It makes for more interactive responses)!  I feel pretty clear that for now, I’m probably not going to booze up anytime soon.   As much fun as my life was when I drank, I actually can’t imagine drinking that way again.  And holy crap my skin has really cleared up this year!  I gained a bit of weight which is weird though.

I am proud to say I’ve met 2 out of 3 of my writing goals for my time out here– the xoJane essay and another essay proposal for The Los Angeles Atlas Project.  The unmet goal was to write a book proposal for “Going Green the Wong Way” but that was just too difficult to wrap my head around while working on this show.  When I get back to LA it will be for over a month!  I’m so excited!  It will go by so fast and then BAM!  I’ll be living out of a suitcase.

I’ve pretty much been on the road since July.  I just want to feel at home.


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Category: Blog, cat lady, cat pee, miami

After the baby is delivered, post partum…

November 23rd, 2010

The set was one big clusterfluck of Wong.

I have returned back to my life of Los Angeles mediocrity and toil after two amazing weeks in Miami.   I didn’t get laid, catch VD or pick up a coke habit…  Come to think of it, I barely drank booze I was working so hard making nothing but theater.  I left Miami thinking… “Wow!  No sex or drugs?  What kind of f’d up Miami trip was that?”

And so goes another full-length Wong show under my belt!  “Going Green the Wong Way” is full length show #4 (maybe #5 if you count “Whoring for Hollywood” two years ago at the Comedy Central Stage… I’ve stopped counting…) in the books.  It wasn’t quite solo.  I had a trio of ASMs (Assistant Stage Managers) and Kristina Raines playing the voice of “Mother Earth.”  The three ASMs were decked out as “Reduce,” “Reuse,” and “Recycle” with these insanely cute coveralls.

What was so cool was that my folks flew out last minute from San Francisco to see the show.   I was so nervous about them there but the show was such a production that I wanted them to see how well I could do.  They even were part of my standing ovation.

A round up of the Reviews! In LA, one weekend shows rarely get reviewed, so I was thrilled to get reviewed and GOOD reviews at that.  Press kit, here we come!

Miami Herald (First line–  “Kristina Wong is a funny — no, make that an extremely funny — performer with a wildly imaginative, sometimes raunchy sensibility.”  Yay!)

Miami New Times

Miami Art Zine

Miami Art Zine (actual review)

Thomas Thorspecken (An Amazing local Orlando illustrator who draws events he attends)

Neil De La Flor (A funny local blogger and artist)

South Florida Theater Review

ENV Magazine

And a round-up of the preshow press!

Miami Art Zine

South Florida Theater Review

Miami Herald

Knight Arts

Brian Feldman does a preshow performance called "Going Green the Feldman Way"

And my favorite performance artist of Orlando, Brian Feldman (who you may remember from earlier blogs as the man who married a total stranger to show how ridiculous it was two strangers of opposite genders could wed but two loving same sex partners could not) did a great preshow performance where he chugged (water) from a gasoline canister in the lobby.  It was simple, telling and dramatic.  That’s Thomas’ drawing of it above!

Another awesome bonus was that I got to do a “Meet and Greet” event at the Soho Beach House called “Going Drunk the Wong Way.”  The Soho House is this exclusive club for rich kids.  They served “Wong Island Iced Teas” and I talked about my life.  So nuts!  And it was a “members only event.”

Ok, and now… back to my life of toil and mediocrity in Los Angeles.  I’m grateful for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  Baby Wong needs a vacay.

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Category: artist life., Blog, miami, press, veggie oil car

Mia-izzle fo Shizzle in the Flo-izzle.

November 9th, 2010

Assume what you will about the Miami theater scene here but my experience thus far working with MAD CAT Theater Company (the company producing my show here) has been tight.

LA Theater has nothing on the resources here.  First off!  People and space!   And the people are not flakes or disrespectful (at least not yet)!   Where did all this space and people come from?  We went into our first rehearsal yesterday with the company members who will be supporting the production of my show in two weeks and I think I counted at least ten people at the table yesterday… all there to support my SOLO SHOW.

Ann, is the most amazing board member of MAD CAT.  She’s not an actor, just someone who makes sure all the business is taken care of so we can focus on making the best show possible.   Is this real?! You mean, I don’t have to simultaneously write a grant and my play?!  WOW!

Then there Elaine, the stage manager who has built a model of the stage with the set design.  She sends “stage manager reports” after rehearsals.  I got said stage manager report in an email later that night and read each thorough detail of what happened in the time we were working and was like, “WOW! What’s this?”

Folks who do theater right will tell me, “Well, Kristina, that’s how it’s supposed to work.”

Exactly.  Not rehearsing in living rooms.  Not being berated by flaky directors or actors.  Not doing it all by yourself.   In theory, that’s how is is supposed to work.  But I get a dose of how it’s supposed to work hardly ever (says the martyr).  And so, I’m really enjoying being taken care of, staying in a house that’s a short bike ride from the beach.  And editing and punching the heck out of this script so it looks tight as a pair of lycra leggings next week.


My big Miami fun this weekend was that I went to Lil’ Wayne’s “Free Weezy” party.  What’s more Miami than going to a stripclub/nightclub/barbershop/BBQ called “King of Diamonds” where rappers throw themselves big party after going to jail for weapons possession?

Like a KISS concert, I did up my face with my fave Lil’ Wayne face tatts and headed over!

It was $150 to get in, so we had to settle for hanging out with the parking attendant.  Enjoy!

YouTube Preview Image

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Category: artist life., Blog, miami, the quiet i am screaming for, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, winnings

The Highest Highs, The Lowest Lows

January 20th, 2008

So I went from being the big Kahuna in Miami to being the doormat du jour in Los Angeles. The CBS showcase is Tuesday and I swear it’s crushing my soul. I appear in one sketch (even my one liner role as Ming the Burmese handjob giver was cut). I never remember theater being so cut-throat. It truly is a business. I don’t regret the experience of the showcase and it really is thickening my skin.

During yesterday’s rehearsal I had the following thoughts. Like really, I had these thoughts…

* “Where can I buy drugs like coke?”
* “Maybe I should call my sex worker friend and see how I can get into her line of work.”
* “Is the bar in my closet high enough to hang myself from?”

I also called my hypnotherapist friend during the rehearsal to schedule an emergency appointment. I’ve never tried hypnotherapy, but right now I need all the magic fairy dust I can get to maintain my sanity.

I was also caught trying to poke my eyes out with my own finger during the rehearsal.

If anything, I am really understanding how important it is that I do my own work and how lucky I am that if this acting stuff never pans out, I will always have performance art to lean on (how freaking strange is that?!). And as much as I want to retire from performance art and make tons of money in ONE city rather than roam the globe for pennies, at least I have my own artistic vision at the end of the day.

My friend, the famous playwright Alice Tuan said that she felt my blogs made it seems like my life was really charmed and easy-ish. Which is so crazy because despite the perks, my life is totally insanely crazy. It was really good seeing Alice last night after the monster day with CBS. I cried and cried and then we laughed together.

Anyway, I’ve been up looking at my press from Miami. Check it.

Miami New Times
(Yet again, I find another opportunity to call out the Korean Pick Up artist like the psycho freak bitch I am.)

Anyway, so I’m planning to go to church today. I need to pray. I don’t care what god. I just need to pray.

I also seem to be on Miami time still. As I’m blogging at 5am and going to bed at 9pm.

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Category: artist life., balance, hollywood wong, i'm kristina wong, losing my mind in los angeles, miami, neediness., press, stamina, vision

There are Dead in Miami.

January 18th, 2008

I’m back in LA. It’s 3am and I’m up typing. The day after my show was not pretty. I jumped on the 8am flight, which meant I had to pack all my crap up in the early AMs. Barely drove the rental car back to Hertz at 6am, paid $50 because my bags were too heavy (i could have threw stuff out but was exhausted and gave up), tried to memorize new lines for this sketch I’m in for the CBS showcase on the plane inbetween passing gas and trying to sleep on the cramped plane.

I landed in LA, drove to CBS in my 1981 veggie oil car which after driving a brand new Miami rental for two weeks, felt like it was running on a wing and a prayer and rubber bands. I found out most of the parts for this showcase have been cast and I have like one scene. Almost threw up from exhaustion and overwhelmedness, left CBS too tired to cry, got a massage, ate thai food, passed out, and now it’s 3am and the day has started.

I really am not sure how much longer I can do this road warrior stuff.

Oh yes, and the show rocked! I think there are dead people by the theater still. I am very blessed to have known nobody in Miami and get a very nice crowd of around 250 folks on the Wednesday slot where Louis Ck and Kathy Griffin were also programmed. The awesome folks at Miami Light got the mega- poster with my face on it out of the marquee for me to take home and now I get to look at my ego everyday.

The kids I taught last week from Little Haiti came and sat in the front rows. They had a blast. At one point they were jumping out of their seats screaming when I was like, “Are the Asians in the house?!” See, it didn’t take long to convince those kids that they were little Wongs. If I corrupted them, they didn’t seem to notice or mind.

My shining moment was when as Officer MacGillawongster, I put a plastic gun to a pregnant woman’s stomach and said, “Ma’am, I need you to remove that, it’s very dangerous and because of post 9/11 security measures, we must have you take that out in the fight for terrorism.”

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Category: hollywood wong, miami, my mind in los angeles

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