If you were curious. I set a goal a few posts ago to reduce the contents of my apartment by half. Sell at least $1000 of crap out of this place (via Amazon and Craigslist) and put that moolah into my friend’s restaurant. And move move move stuff out of here!
So far, I’ve made $500 ridding the crap out of this place.
Some nice surprises…
Got about $70 for a stack of old Bust and Adbusters Magazines. Got $100 for a wetsuit I will never use.
The more I go visit my friends in their nice clean apartments, the more I want to stack stuff up and get it out of here.
Have not reduced the contents of my apartment by half. But what room I’ve made makes a big difference. Somehow though, I seem to have accumulated more since coming back from Seattle….
Aw, so far, it’s been a great year. I spent it with friends and laughed a lot more than yesterday when I was lying in bed freaking out about how I’m going to pull off the next three weeks. And then the next three weeks after that… and after that…
I’m taking matters into my own hands and am asking folks to start proposing to me via youtube. Men, women, children, animals…. No marriage proposal too scary or flippant. We must send the energy waves my way so that I will be married to a rich oil tycoon by the end of the year and can retire from performance art to become a lady of leisure.
And guess what! My “Buy Nothing Year” is finally over! Can you believe I went all of 2007 without buying new clothes or non-perishable gifts? It wasn’t that hard, but I did stave off temptation on more than a few occasions. Now…. Let me at the mall! I got an economy to feed!
So I didn’t even get to tell you all about the big Hollywood shindig that I broke my “Buy Nothing Year” vow to prep for.
I know. I broke my year-long vow to not buy anything. And for what? For lesser Hollywood.
Here I am with my date, playwright Alice Tuan.
So, after contemplating how I should pimp walk last Saturday’s “Imaginasian Center” Opening that I was mysteriously invited to attend as “an important” personality. I decided to not buy a crisp white suit or an 80s prom dress, but instead, was resourceful and got the zipper fixed on this old dress discarded by my friend Malia. I wore some fishnets and heels I had lying and around and an old costume shop hat that I used to wear with the Billionaires for Bush.
I looked awesome and ironic.
Here are me and Timo, who somehow got an invite for this shingdig too.
I unfortunately, did not get any full body shots of my loveliness, but you can see the fingerless lace gloves I broke my pledge and bought for $8. Here I am with Carrie Ann Inaba who I actually know from college.
I was so fun that night. It was fun being dressed like a starlet in my hat and fur coat. It was like I became this caricature of myself. People were like, “Are you Kristina now or Fannie?” because everytime I shook a man’s hand (even if it was John Cho or Joe Schmoe), I gently pushed my fist towards his mouth so he would be forced to kiss my hand. I think I’m going to do this from now on as long as I wear gloves.
Here’s me and Michelle Krusiec. Who I already know and have on my email list because I’m so famous too.
The best part is Alice and I got to walk the red carpet.
It was so fun going to this event with the famous playwright Alice Tuan.
After five minutes of being denied entry to the red carpet, they finally let us through!
Alice: This is kinda sad and desperate. Kristina: Relax. We will get to walk this. Monitor: Ok, so who are you again? Kristina: I am Kristina Wong, a famous performance artist. This is Alice Tuan, she’s a famous playwright. Monitor: Where are you from? (this is where we are supposed to chime in with the name of some tv show or movie or celebrity that has created our whole meaningful identity.) Alice: Los Angeles Kristina: We aren’t on your list. We’re write-ins. (Monitor looks to empty red carpet. Looks out into potential “celebrity” prospects, none of who are on their list of people to let through. Realizes, we are all there is to kill time. Alice: My play was just at Humana. (No reaction from monitor.) Monitor: Fine. (aloud and lackluster) Ladies and Gentlemen! Playwright Alice Tuan and… performance… uh… artist… Kristina Wong!
We had a grand time on all 20 feet of the red carpet. Not to be cocky, but me and Alice were probably the most fun that came to the red carpet that night. We were subversive. It was like watching two babies walk for the first time. I mugged like in 20 different unflattering ways for the cameras even though most of them stopped photo-ing us when they realized we weren’t listed in their packets. I’ve been searching the photo databases and don’t see our pics online. So you will just have to know it was awesome when I told the cameras, “The Imaginasian Center gives me a great reason to come to skid row!”
Awesome thing I said to Russell Wong that night:
“Hi. My friend Alice has a huge crush on you. She wants to put a watermelon between her legs that you can eat out of the way you did in the Joy Luck Club.”
(He just turned around and didn’t say anything. But he let me take this picture with him.)
Today, Americans stampeded the Malls across America like crazed rabies infected oxen. I instead made some progress on the afghan that I’ve been crocheting for my friends’ wedding later this year. It’s a tedious process, but I think They will appreciate the handiwork.
Here’s what I got so far. It’s about 4 feet long and I want to get it long enough to cover a twin bed.
They better appreciate it!
During Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt’s house, my father said to my uncle of their big flatscreen tv, “This TV is so old, why don’t you get a new one?” And I was like, “The TV works fine to me. It doesn’t seem old to me.”
Am I the only person who’s ok with having a used tube TV purchased for $50 from UCLA AV center? I remember getting that thing and thinking, “Wow, this is one big appliance. And it overwhelms the living room. And it sort of overwhelms living.”
I’ve also been thinking of getting the new Macbook because it would be fun to videochat. But I kinda like this computer now. It still works. There’s no rush to upgrade. I’m fine at chatting to icons of my friends. I don’t want to get so used to talking virtually, that I forget what it is like to hug and see each over a dinner table.
And my folks asked what I wanted for Christmas. We’ve been throwing so much stuff between our two homes. And I am trying to prepare for becoming a real estate mogul in Nebraska. All I could think that I needed was, “Nothing. I don’t want anything for Christmas. Really. I don’t want anything.”
That’s right. It’s late November and I’m still going pretty strong with my “Buy Nothing Year.” The pledge? To not buy any gifts, clothes, and basically stuff that takes up room that is not absolutely essential for living. I did slip if you count buying a month of “virtual assistance” for Colleen or some liquor and soap from Greece that I bought for friends. But when it comes to purchasing NON-PERISHABLE (ie JUNK) gifts– I have no receipts! And I did buy some yarn for the crochet bikini I have yet to finish (but you see, buying things that encourage creativity is ok!). In fact, I did a great job this year of getting rid of a lot of t-shirts and old clothes and crap. And I can do an even better job if I can get my act together to throw out more and more.
I want to get through this year to show folks everywhere that you are perfectly fine to not buy and that finding creative ways around shopping can be fun. I’ve also saved quite a bit money this year that will go towards my real estate empire.
Here’s the place where fate has tempted me. Imaginasian TV sent me a mysterious email invite to the grand opening premiere of their “Imaginasian Center” opening downtown next weekend.
They said in their email that:
“In attendance will be the nation’s most eminent Asian American celebrities, talents, athletes, and leaders. We would like to personally invite you to attend, as an important talent and leader in the entertainment industry. The event will feature a red carpet with coverage from mainstream and ethnic press.”
Did you hear that folks? I’m “important”! So important, that the invite came by email. But no matter. Also, no matter that later in the invite it says, “This invite does not guarantee entry.”
But anyway. This event is a big freaking deal-o for some and a chance for me to act like a dong at a big shindig. And the first thing I thought that I wanted to wear was a big ol’ crazy 80′s prom dress with bows and polka dots and taffeta. Turn that shit out, you know?
But then I had a better idea. I thought, what if I wore a crisp white pantsuit with a matching hat and a clear cane and pimped walk that event? YES!Since this “class” thing is not my forte, I thought I’d turn a corner and walk in like I owned the joint.
“Shock it” as the gals would say in high school.
I started to websearch for “white pantsuit” and “clear cane.” But then I remembered my wee little “Buy Nothing Year” pledge. And if I did buy a little pimptress outfit, I would be breaking my pledge. I would also break my pledge if I went to goodwill to buy an 80′s prom dress.
So the idea now is to see if anyone out there has such an outfit in my size (4-6) that I can borrow. Or see if someone on Craigslist has one to give away.
The other back-up idea is to wear this dress my friend Malia almost trashed that has been in my closet forever and tie a big bow around my head and still act dong-like and turn it into my own personal party. Maybe I’ll sew fabric together from the apartment and have a 30 foot train follow me.
Does anyone have a clear cane and white pantsuit for me? How about a really cute 80s prom dress?
I have an event to turn out and a buy nothing pledge to commit to.
(Oh that Kristina Wong, she always has got something to prove.)
Hey, so aside from the fact that I paid $400 to the mechanic today to fix some leaks in my transmission….and spent the day going up and down LA by bus (man, do I hand it to the carless in LA, it’s not easy!)… I have more winnings to report!
Ok, so remember that pad commercial contest I entered for Lunapads. Let me refresh your memory…
Well… I didn’t win first place. Which is fine because the woman who did win put a lot more work into her commercial than I did. And who the heck needs $250 in re-washable pads anyway?
But they did give everyone else who entered $100 in lunapad product!
Hell yes! Shopping spree! Get down with my rewashable pad self!
(And who says the Wongster can’t party?)
And so much fun considering it’s my “Buy Nothing Year.”
Now, I’m not sure what the heck to do with all these new re-washable pads. I have plenty as is to hold me over until menopause. I don’t need more. I’m not sure I know any woman who would want to get these as a gift because every time I tell another woman I use cloth pads, I get this response: “Bitch. You crazy.”
But they have all sorts of balms and undies. And I was actually looking at these cloth hankies. I thought that might be something to get and use instead of paper towels and disposable dinner napkins. It would cut down in the long run on a lot of waste. They also have these “Divacup” things that I’m totally scared of. They are like cups you stick in your jojo to catch your period. Yikes. But they are better than tampons supposedly.