balance Archive

Bienvenido a Miami! Where the players play… alone!

January 6th, 2008

Miami has been gorgeous the last few days. It’s unreal that I get to be here so long. And I’m almost agitated because I am having a hard time embracing that I’ve earned this. Can artists really be treated like a million bucks on the road? Like shouldn’t someone at some point be bopping me on the head and telling me that the empty dorm room bed awaits me??!

Here’s the photo story.

First, as promised. Evidence that Spoon and Brady from VH1′s “The Pick Up Artist” did indeed take me to the Airport. No pictures of me WITH them, but that will be the next ride to the airport!

Spoon driving with his 6:30 AM on.

Brady being crushed by my monster luggage.

And now I am in Miami. I’ve never been treated so well on a residency before. I mean I thought I’ve been treated well. But his is like fantasy residency! I’ve been given a rental car, a per diem, two weeks at the Standard and a pretty loose schedule to enjoy the surroundings. The car has a GPS and says, “You have arrived” when I get to my destination. And when it says that. I feel like they are saying so much more. I really have arrived it seems.

I can’t believe what a luxury this is. It’s like my friend E said once of being hot and single and waking up alone every morning, “This is such a waste!”

Indeed, this place is so gorgeous, it seems quite wasteful to be in this awesome hotel all alone. So guess what? You are coming with me! Check it. I present a grand tour of Miami so far…. Mostly the hotel.

A dock overlooking the water. Just behind the hotel!

The lounge chairs at dusk.

The giant king bed is 6 feet across and mocks soloness when I sleep in it.

This is where you load up in mud and wash it off. Going to try this tomorrow.

The view at dusk.

A note from the general manager welcoming me to the Standard and to Miami. I felt like such a rock star.

Anyway, the being here alone thing is killing me. I can’t go this long without having someone to talk to and it’s only been like a day! This joint is swarming with couples and cool people. I was thinking there would be solo artists roaming the joint and wanting to party… kinda like when I went to Greece. But in odd ways I’m having flashbacks of middle school. Next week I’ll be teaching workshops all over the place and my circle of Miami folk I know will grow. But I feel like I showed up at prom alone being here. It’s like a honeymoon for one.

I was thinking about what a rock star I am this week and how people would love to join me. So perhaps my friend Jess is right, I need my own reality show, “a Shot at Love with Kristina Wong” where people vie for my love in special performance art challenge like who can convey the most oppression with fake blood and howling sounds. Ha!

By the way, I’m here early assembling a cast of community artists to be in my show. I already found my cutest cop! Look for Sasha at the show! She takes after her mom who is a notable Miami B Girl.

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Category: artist life., balance, dying alone, miami, reality tv, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., Spoon, the pick up artist, vacation?, Vh1, vision

I got one foot out the door….

January 2nd, 2008

Still getting everything together for my big residency in Miami! I can’t believe I get to start the year out like this.

So far… no video marriage proposals from my last videoblog. But I did get a comment saying this….

“ya know, you’re kind of sexy. lol. i’ll marry u. i mean u have great natural beauty, but i was just love to see u in something sexy (short and tight, lol), with a little make-up, and in serious mode. that would be very interesting. i’ll be sure to keep the lotion near by should u decide to make a video like that. lol. happy new year!”

Blech. The Wong don’t get sexy for nobody.

Well, at least this flyer makes me excited!

With more street cred than you can shake a pair of Hammer pants at, Kristina Wong makes her Miami debut riffing on notions of freedom in times that would make Joe McCarthy gasp. Excerpts include a satirical homage to “save the world in five minutes” spoken word, a Flashdance tribute, and an explanation (or un-explanation) of why she prefers life in the almighty closet. Bidding paddles will be provided for a live auction of gentrified neighborhoods. Adding an interactive element, Kristina will select a group of South Floridians to perform in one segment alongside her.

Miami Light Project
Kristina Wong
January 16, 2008, 8:00pm
Colony Theater
1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, Fl 33139
Tickets $25.00
For tickets call Ticketmaster at 305.358.5885
or visit

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Category: artist life., balance, dying alone, neediness., stamina, vision

New Year, New Ramblings.

January 1st, 2008

Aw, so far, it’s been a great year. I spent it with friends and laughed a lot more than yesterday when I was lying in bed freaking out about how I’m going to pull off the next three weeks. And then the next three weeks after that… and after that…

I’m taking matters into my own hands and am asking folks to start proposing to me via youtube. Men, women, children, animals…. No marriage proposal too scary or flippant. We must send the energy waves my way so that I will be married to a rich oil tycoon by the end of the year and can retire from performance art to become a lady of leisure.

And guess what! My “Buy Nothing Year” is finally over! Can you believe I went all of 2007 without buying new clothes or non-perishable gifts? It wasn’t that hard, but I did stave off temptation on more than a few occasions. Now…. Let me at the mall! I got an economy to feed!

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Category: artist life., balance, buy nothing day year, buy nothing year, cat pee, losing my mind in los angeles, neediness., sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., vision

Swan Song of 2007

January 1st, 2008

I thought I’d videoblog on the last day of the year. It’s boring but it lets you know what I’m up to. I’m basically getting ready to kill in Miami at the South Beach Comedy Festival.

Check this out…

I spent today– laughing, crying, getting angry, feeling freaked out and alone, feeling suicidal, and then feeling great again. It’s kind of like this whole year of my life wrapped up in one strange last day.

I’m off to a New Year’s get together at Helena’s place.

Not sure what will happen at the end of 2008. But I can only hope it will be as good to me as 2007 was. I’ve had few years as good as this one.

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Category: balance, cat pee, chocolate rain, hollywood wong, losing my mind in los angeles, not angry anymore. just tense., oh my god, saturn's return, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., vision

We are more than poop.

November 27th, 2007

I’m in the San Diego area now. It’s just past midnight and I’m doing a presentation at Cal State San Marcos tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn. Professor Judy Bauerlein has invited me to speak to her Theater 101 Class about my work.

I was telling her about the “Two Girls One Cup” phenom and caught her reaction to it…

Here’s Judy’s surprisingly calm reaction to 2girls1cup.

There are so many things that intrigue me about “2girls1cup”– not the video itself (there are other words I have besides “intrigue” to describe how I feel about it.)

What is so interesting about this 2girls1cup phenom is this whole culture of people recording their reactions to such a disgusting video and people forcing their friends and family members to watch other people eat poop. It’s become a community of shared shock and reaction that I feel a part of. That I am in on some sort of secret, some collective experience.

2girls1cup is a community of shared trauma. We laugh because we are all in on it. We are horrified together. We share and enjoy watching each others reactions because we know what it is they saw too. There are so many parallels to the 2girls1cup community and how people came together after 9/11 or after any shared trauma in our history.

My questions are:

* Is that where we are as a culture. That it takes two girls eating poop to get us to be horrified? Is what is happening in the world already not horrific or interesting enough to react to?

* Now that so many people have witnessed poop eating, what is the next “2girls1cup”– what’s the next even more horrific thing for us to really react to?

* What collective trauma in our national history will it take for Americans to be horrified? What will shock us in 10 years? What will shock us next week?

* Are we so bored that we turn to “2girls1cup”? Or is this part of our healing? To distract ourselves with something that seems like a roller coaster ride? Like celebrity gossip, do we get involved so much with it because it’s a roller coaster we can get off? Because it’s like someone else’s fiction– it’s low stakes to us?

What I think is interesting is:
* How people are attempting to outdo each other in these reactions. The ones that get the most hits are when the viewer barfs, when the mother or father (people you typically would not want to share these videos with) are asked to watch. The reactions themselves have to be shocking for people to want to see them.

* The reactions are residual mirrors of the original which cannot be shown on Youtube. The reaction is only as good as the original. If the reaction isn’t good, then it perhaps reflects the original’s ability to create emotional impact.

* The reaction will never be as “good” or as “real” the second time around. The viewer has come to expect what they see. They have “rehearsed” the emotions. And slowly it becomes normal or anticipated. Much like what has happened in our world.

So here it goes. A series of videos Judy and I made tonight. We aren’t trying to “perform” but capture our real reactions of watching other stimulus, stories, and moments.

Yes, they are boring. Very boring. But unfortunately, we were already familiar with these stories already. No surprises.

Here we are reacting to the Writer’s Strike. I guess if the writers would eat some poop, we’d be more interesting to watch.

Here is a reaction video of us watching a news item on Dick Cheney’s heart condition. Surprisingly, Darth Cheney’s face alone isn’t enough to make us puke.

Here is a reaction video of us watching a amateur video taken of the twin towers going down on 9/11.

A reaction video of us watching archival footage from 2003 of the opening day of bombing (Shock and Awe) in Iraq as covered by CNN.

A reaction video of us watching “Otters Holding Hands” on Youtube. I had already seen it but Judy hadn’t.

If you’ve seen my newest piece, ‘The Years of Lying Dangerously” about dry humping, you will note a lot of parallels between this post and that show.

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Category: america makes me numb, balance, chocolate rain, golden shower

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