Marriage is for a bunch of freaking queers.
February 10th, 2010 → Leave a comment
I take a break from the nauseating task of trying to buy a home in LA, to share with you the latest brilliant project of my friend Brian Feldman. You may remember him from an earlier blog post. He is indeed, Orlando’s broker, balder and more brilliant version of David Blaine.
Brian is doing this week what a lot of my friends had joked about doing in the wake of same sex marriage rights being completely written out of state constitutions. Brian is exercising his power, no, HIS RIGHT, to marry a total stranger. And by stranger, I mean… a woman stranger…because you know, the law and all…
Brian agreed to marry any woman who showed up at the Orlando Courthouse at 3pm yesterday. Three women showed up. One woman with a baby strapped to her. So Brian picked his wife in the most sincere way possible, by spinning a water bottle. Then the lucky lady proceeded to fill out a marriage license with him. On Friday, Brian Feldman marries Hannah Miller. I don’t know who she is and nor does he. Though apparently, she has a very understanding boyfriend.
If I had the time to fly to Florida and wasn’t so desperately trying to preserve my FICO score in the wake of trying to buy a house here… I would have gotten myself hitched to that nice Jewish boy myself. Brian Feldman and I could have showed the world: Marriage is for fags.
But instead, I enjoy this nonsense from a distance. And so can you.