Kristina Wong, homeowner?

November 12th, 2007 → Leave a comment

I’m in San Francisco where I did this awesome show on Friday for SFWAR (San Francisco Women Against Rape). It was amazing. I was on the bill with 3 other comics. It was a great show and we helped them raise a lot of money and a lot of good feelings for the organization. It’s great to perform at home.

I ran up here in such a rush that I didn’t pack any underpants or socks, so I’ve had to go through my 8th grade drawer and rock the stretched out, aged undergarments. I also performed in the same schloppy clothes that I slept and rode in the plane with. Such a mess I can be.

Anyway, here’s what’s new with me.

I am finally excited that for once I have an obsession that may equal into something profitable. In the past I’ve been obsessed with things that have tons of cultural value but no lucrative value to them… documentary films, knitting, porn star bios, Flavor of Love, cats, and oh yeah… performance art.

What’s my new obsession? Buying Real Estate!

Sure, I have yet to actually BUY real estate. But I’m doing a lot of research now and learning all the lingo that I’ve been intimidated by for so long. Homeowning might actually be a reality with the markets freaking out the way they are. AND for the first time in forever I actually have enough to put in on a down payment on a nice 3bedroom house. Sure the house is going to be in Indiana or 29 Palms (where some houses start at 30K!), but that’s where the excitement begins.

My friend Rona who is an actor and realtor (as many actors are), introduced me to this whole “turnkey” property concept. Where you buy property out of state with a tenant inside and hire a property company to do the management. Most of the Indiana properties are Section 8. She said, “That may freak you out, but the government will always send in a check!” I was like, “HELL YEAH! Passive income!”

I’m going to own run down property in the middle of nowhere! YES!

I need to do a lot more research on this of course. But I’m excited that I may actually be able to get ahead in the world as I have been doing already, without creating financial burden on my family. (Have I not already mentioned a million martyr-like times that I’ve supported myself as an artist with no financial support from my family?)

This real estate thing is exciting. I think more artists should figure out how to own. In fact, maybe I can bring up my artist friends at the end of all this. I want to be able to look back on my life, when I am a rich arts patron and feel proud that I built my little empire all by myself, with no handouts and all on little houses in Indiana.

Anyway, so my mom freaked out that I was going to use my money to buy Section 8 property out of state and insisted I start looking locally for something I can live in. And we started looking for places in LA online. Most of the stuff that’s still semi reasonable is in Watts, Compton, South Central and Inglewood– all locales made notorious by gangster rap. And soon, made more famous when I move in and do interpretive dance on my front lawn in South Central.

There goes the neighborhood.

This is the most bizarre of all the listings we found. I thought it was a mistake at first. Are they seriously trying to sell this house with pictures like this?

I’ve actually been hearing really good things about Watts. There’s an amazing arts community there.

As they say in real estate… Follow the gays or follow the artists… that’s where you’ll find the next hot place. So will any of you homeless gays let me know where you are moving to? I’d appreciate it.

When I get back to LA, I’ll probably start taking a spin around these neighborhoods. Currently the Asian population in these districts is at 5%. I’m thinking when I move in, I will go up to 6%.

That’s right baby! Property Mogul!

Category: property mogul

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