How to Succeed in Hollywood? Show them the Meat Curtains!

October 19th, 2007 → Leave a comment

So I guess I can reveal my first great “WHOA, my life is changing for the bigger” that I had alluded to in my last post.

I have been selected to be part of the CBS Diversity Showcase in January! I will perform for a huge audience of industry folks with a small cast of other actors! It is a mega opportunity for me to be seen by casting directors and such. It could be the start of my life transition from the art stage to the big screen.

Randomly, my friend Amy who did the showcase last year, ran into me and asked if I was interested in it. She referred me to the casting people and I went in today for my audition! And they took me right there! I’ve never experienced anything like it.

So this changes a lot for me now. The next few months until January will be intense. I will be spending a lot of time writing sketches with the other actors and we will be hammering a top notch and tight sketch show together. I’m still going to do my tour dates between, but I won’t get to spend as much time as I had originally planned to spend in San Francisco.

It’s all so exciting. And it marks one big transition I wanted to make in my career that will hopefully allow me to not have to travel so much to make my living.

I’m very shy about telling people, but here’s my secret. I do hope eventually to work more in TV and Film because traveling alone and doing these solo theater shows about intense as hell issues can be very lonely and hard on my body. (Not that Hollywood is particularly healthy either! But the money and staying in one place is so appealing.)

And of course, I’m sure you all want to know what I did for my audition? Well, I had thought that maybe I should write some kind of quirky character monologue, but after going into the CBS casting office earlier this week to get a pep talk about what to prepare, I realized that it was very very important for me to be funny and outrageous because the casting folks have SEEN IT ALL.

So what did I do? I whipped out the fake strap-on puppet vagina above, put it on in the CBS bathroom under my skirt, waddled into the room and did this crazy monologue where I ranted about how the industry expects us to “pull Asian stuff out of our asses.” Then I said, “You know where it really comes from?” Then I squatted down and started…

You can guess the rest.

They went nuts for it. I had the casting director on the floor crying. They were saying after, “It’s so great, you take risks! You’re over the top! It’s much easier to pull people down from being too over the top than push them to be more over the top.”

I was so scared to do this for an audition. Especially because everyone I told that I was going to do this said, “That sounds like a bad idea to do at CBS.” And in the car ride over I was so panicked that I was being an idiot.

But really, I’m a born performance artist. So this is what I knew how to do the best. It wasn’t going to be natural for me to do an actor-ly monoglogue. And it certainly wouldn’t make an impression after all the monologues they had seen.

So yes, I guess it does go to show, that being my big crazy self and listening to my heart/vag was the best thing I could have done. Showing those CBS execs my meat curtains was the smartest career move ever.

So what is the moral of the story kids?

All hail my big vag!

Category: hollywood wong, losing my mind in los angeles

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