I need a wizard.

July 27th, 2007 → Leave a comment

This is my 200th post on my blogger.

So. As you can imagine from my recent postings, and even from my one earlier today. There’s a lot going on in my head. And a lot of changes ahead.

My friend’s mom took him to see a Chinese fortune teller yesterday. And basically the fortune teller told him everything from who he was going to marry and when he was going to marry and whether he was on the right career path or not. The fortune teller talked for an hour and a half while my friend’s mom interpreted.

It was like all laid out in stone! Clean cut. Clear as day! Here is your life and how to live it!

My friend told me this and I found myself screaming… “DAMMIT! I want to see a Chinese fortune teller too!”

I would totally go see a Chinese fortune teller now. Someone to tell me everything that will happen in my life. Someone to make my decisions for me because I am so confused. Sprinkle some pounded up deer antlers and make it better. I’d love to schedule a session with a Chinese fortune teller.

Except, one big thing stands in my way…



I was talking to Clam Lynch, my dear friend and self-made, self-help master about how for the first time in my life I feel like I am in the market for a psychic or spiritual guru. That if the best and smartest astrologist could tell me what to do… I’d totally listen and pay a hard earned $20. I just want some “expert” to help me figure out this next phase in my life.

He’s like, “Why don’t you want to see a therapist?”

I said, “I hate therapists! I need someone with magic powers!”

And then we both paused and then I said it again….

“I want to see someone with magical powers!”

Then I dug my face into my hands and started laughing. Slow, painful laughs.

Am I really talking this crazy now?

Magic powers?

Am I really so lost about what comes next in my life that I’m ready to track down Harry Potter to point me towards the next step in my career?

“Yes. I said it, Clam. I want someone to help me who has magic powers.”

So this is what I need right now.

1. Someone who understands Chinese fluently and can take me to the best Chinese fortune teller in Los Angeles and tell me what he/she says about my future.


2. Someone with magic powers.

Any ideas?

Category: cat lady, magic powers

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