Classing it up.

April 12th, 2007 → Leave a comment

My beautiful and adoring mother emailed her concerns of my unhesitant usage of the word “dong” in my recent blogs. She wrote that using the word so publicly in cyberspace would reflect badly on our family (you know, whereas my writing for a porn mag would not).

I agree. The word “dong” is base, unrefined, unpoetic, and obvious. A UCLA English major like myself should know better than to pick such a sloppy word to describe man’s most complex section.

Therefore, I am vowing to no longer use the word “dong” in my blogs and am requesting that my readers help me pick out a more dignified synonym from the following list.

Man Tower
Don Johnson
Jojo Dancer
Man Baton
Minute Hand
Thermometer de Flesh
Man Tower
Leg #3
Pointer Finger
Bread and Meatballs
AK 47
Van de Kamps
Lonely Antenna
Night Stick
Peg Leg
Papa Smurf
Dodo Bird
Mr. Potato Head

Please pick a synonym or make a suggestion. I implore you. For the future and the posterity of the Wong family name.

I’ll reveal and liberally use the winning synonym in an upcoming blog.

Category: no more dong

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