The Toast of San Jose

December 16th, 2006 → Leave a comment

Well, my second run of WFOTCN is tonight in San Jose. I have two “critic’s picks” from the SJ Mercury News (for some reason they ran the NY Times pic of me from the master cleanse article) and the Metro News. I can’t believe how good the press has been to me up here.

Running myself ragged plus the stress I do so well at giving myself, plus doing this show in my hometown has made me really sick this week.

I’m taking all sorts of medicine but what I need the most is some good old fashion sleep. My family was giving me a hard time about staying in a hotel in Berkeley and San Jose when I could just stay with them in San Francisco for free but it’s really stressful doing three hours of driving everyday in addition to the responsibilities of this show. Last night I finally got a hotel room to myself and it was the first night of peace I had in months.

But all night I had nightmares about not waking up in time to feed the meter outside and getting a ticket on my car.

I am actually looking forward to when this show is over tomorrow. I almost feel my body screaming, “Please stop! Before you become chronically ill!” I’m so absolutely exhausted. I want to spend the next few months taking care of myself again. Eating well, exercising and having some leisure time. A lot of my family and artists guilt trip me for paying people to help me out or staying in hotels or things that are quite standard, or should be, in this profession. It’s really irritating because they are the same people who tell me to take care of myself. What the heck does it look like I’m trying to do here?

If my next show is about guilt, it’s going to be several days long.

I wish people would understand that what I do is a real profession and just like other professionals, I need to delegate my work out, and do professional things like stay in hotels and not on people’s floors. I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again– I refuse to romanticize the term “starving artist.” So much of being a Creative Capital grantee has taught me about how artists subject themselves to so much self abuse and end up getting sick or quitting or going bankrupt.

I’m really trying to alleviate my workload and make my life easier next year. Already there are some amazing things in my queue. And despite the absolute irritation reeking in this blog post, I really feel like my life is coming along, right where it needs to be!

Category: Blog

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