Day #3 of Master Cleanse, Niagra Falls Baby

September 27th, 2006 → Leave a comment

Imagine this coming out of my ass. That’s all you need to know. I won’t say anymore.

Well I’m in Day 3, I still miss food but when my friend Pete was like, “Think about all that stuff stuck to your colon that is getting eliminated”, I was like, “Woo wee! pass the syrup!”

It’s kinda nice to have so much energy. I don’t have that post lunch sleepiness. And I feel really light.

I frantically wrote a one minute monologue last night to use today for an audition I had at CBS where you only get one minute to show them what you got. I really suck at auditions where I have to just talk and talk and talk and not interact with people. I kill in live performances but when it’s a room with a camera and three people staring at me and I don’t have all sorts of props and lights… I really suck.

So I wrote a monologue about how Asian Actresses with hipster glasses have become our own cliche genre. It was decently funny. I did it for Leilani and she was like, “Why don’t you do Mrs. McFeely instead?” Mrs. McFeely is my crack smoking postal worker character that has surfaced in excerpt showings of this new show. I asked, “Really? Should I do her?” So I fooled around and did a minute of her and Leilani was crying on the couch laughing so hard. And I was laughing at doing her. So I chucked my monologue and found myself doing Mrs. McFeely for these surly folks at the CBS audition. I started rambling as Mrs. McFeeley about the Master Cleanse. I ended the monologue by eating a lemon, rind and all. I think they were just kind of horrified and confused by me more than anything. Oh well. Maybe Hollywood just isn’t ready for me.

But it’s ok. I’m going to be on a commercial for Lovecraft that will play on the web. Yay, if my talent won’t make me famous, at least the car will!

Anyway, even though my body feels happy, my heart is sad. Lots going on in my head. Anxiety about this upcoming show. Ugh.

Category: Blog

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