Coming Out Like It’s Nobody’s Business!

June 13th, 2006 → Leave a comment

Finally, a chance to recap the weekend!

This morning Oliver (the cat) puked in the living room, then later I discovered he took a dump in my purse. Luckily I had emptied my purse out the night before, so clean-up was really easy. But man, what is wrong with that cat?

Anyway, Saturday was International “Knitting in Public Day”-- who knew such holiday existed? The theme of such a special day– “No longer will we hide on couches and Lazyboys! We will come out with our needles, our stitchholders, and we will be counted!”

And so for the first time, I actually took my crochet project (such a rebel I am, crocheting on an international knitting day!) and actually got social with other socially phobic women (and one man).

It was so cool! A lot of the women were working with tiny needles making socks. I am all about stashbusting! I pretty much finished my project at the park because my hook was so big. My project was pretty fast!

We were all so nerdy together talking about yarn, patterns, and how much we love knitting. I’ve found my people!

Check it out, it’s my Adam and Eve jungle scarf thing….

This will probably be a gift for a friend! I noticed that a couple of people bought me stuff off my Amazon wishlist! Thanks! This may end up being your present back from me, depending on who you are!

Here’s a close up of the scarf.

And yesterday, Sunday, was a whole other kind of coming out! LA PRIDE 2006!!!

(Oh wow, an almost naked guy on a parade float! You never see that at Gay Pride Parades!)

You know, I’m pretty closeted and non-commital about whatever the heck it is that I am, because my friends do such a good job of kicking my ass out of the closet for me.

For example…

My friend Raquel was like, “Hey Kristina, wanna perform…. at our lesbian cabaret?”

I was like, “Perform? Hell Yeah!”

And my friend Helena was like, “Wanna ride your bike in a parade… the PRIDE Parade?”

I was like, “Ride my bike? Hell Yeah!”

So yesterday was the first Pride Parade I’ve been to where I was actually in the parade! We rode with the Dykes on Bikes! It was so awesome. Those women are freaking fierce! And they don’t F around either. Good thing I had this Harley ready to ride and my vinyl-leather look skirt ready to go!

Sike! I don’t have a motorcycle… This is Helena’s! I do have my dorky bike. So yesterday, I guess you could say I was a dyke on a bike (cycle)!

Yep, this is more Wongstyle.

It was pretty funny, the whole time down the parade route I was making “vroom vroom” sounds and pretending to rev up my handlebars. I high fived people and screamed out, “Dykes on Bikes!” from over handlebars (I guess that counts as my coming out!) And people laughed at me as I tried to look tough alongside the motorcycle mamas. In the pic above you can see my bike shorts coming out of my skirt!

Here’s Teri and Helena, looking all badass. I love how Helena looks like Abe Lincoln and Teri is all Harleyed leather girled out. Teri actually wore just bandaids once we got on the motorcycles, but I’m not allowed to post those pics, even though thousands of people saw it anyway yesterday.

Teri said at the end of the day that I was crazy– HELLO? Who is the one riding around on a motorcycle with Korean Abe Lincoln with only bandaids on?!

We were the only Asians as part of “Dykes on Bikes” and all the Asians on the parade route screamed for us! I felt like Miss Gay Asian America on wheels! Above are my friends Alma and OShea who I hadn’t seen forever!

Look, it’s Helena and our famous friend Rex who is on “Entourage.”

Because we went first in the parade, we got to watch the rest of the parade. It was a long parade and I was getting sunstroke. And I mean LOOOOOONG. After a while I started screaming, “How many freaking gay people are there in this city!? My god!!!”

And yay, here is Janice Dickinson’s scary overly botoxed ass. I guess she’s the new Judy Garland.

Here are the PFLAG folks who always make me teary at prides.

There was such an odd juxtaposition in the line-up order. We were totally laughing because this totally tacky Hummer with Lesbian erotic dancers comes along and the women are like grinding on the asphalt and then right after is this much less showy gay Unitarian church. Above is Jeff Stryker who I think came after a politician. At first I thought he was a politician and was like, “Why is that guy riding around with his shirt all unbuttoned?” And once we figured out who it was, all the women around me were screaming like crazy. But weird how the men didn’t even budge.

And yes folks, “Mr. Christopher Street Leather Man 2007″ is an Asian Man!!! This and Annabel Chong proves we are coming up in the world!

The LA Leather men say, “Don’t oppress our lifestyle, our masters won’t allow it.”

Fellow performance artists, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

For the most part we were screaming our heads off at all the parade stuff. And then comes this guy with a nurser bra on a bike and it was like this shudder rippled through the crowd.

And what’s great again is running into folks you know. We went to “Here” after. It was so fun. Bars at 2pm! Haven’t done that in a long long time! Here are some friends from college. The one with no shirt on is Manyee who I did shows with, the other is Brian who I was in UCLA Unicamp/cult with. They were pulling on my long hair (I haven’t had long hair in forever) and they were like, “Girl! Is that real?”

It’s always so awkward too to see people from college, especially Brian because his last memory of me is me as a totally psychotic mental case (which I am no longer, of course). But what’s great is now I get grants to make work and travel and talk about having been a total psychotic mental case! Sweet redemption!

And here is Helena, being a party kill by busting out the knitting at a bar. And it’s so tacky too what she’s making. Tsk Tsk. Who knits at a bar?

Oh wait, she’s actually imitating what I was doing ten minutes earlier.

AND NOW… to make up for the fact that I put totally sexy/attractive pictures of me on the internet that some freak pervert will find hot enough to get off on, I will counteract any arousing effect of them by posting more pictures of my knitting!!!

First! The Knifty Knitter Hats!!!! All these will eventually be gifts for friends. They each took less than 2 hours each on the round loom! I knit most of these while carpooling with friends!

My friend Isaac is graduating from UCLA Film and TV with an MFA in screenwriting this week. Rather than spend big bucks on an orchid lei, I decided to make him one with what I had! I hope he likes it and still feels masculine wearing it.

These are blankets I did for my boyfriend’s father and his friend’s baby. I mostly wanted to destash through obscene amounts of yarn.

Category: Blog

Leave a Reply