Pink Veggie Oil Car Cometh!

April 30th, 2006 → Leave a comment

Yesterday was amazing. I wish I had pictures. Basically, it started when I spent like 2 hours getting ready for this art opening at Barnsdall where my friend Denise Uyehara was showing work. I put on a skirt! And I put on make-up, and did my hair so that my bangs weren’t flying straight up. I don’t know what got into me, I was like, “If I am going to an art opening, I’m going to look freaking pretentious and badass.”

I looked so good. If only I had pictures.

The Barnsdall was really happening. Tons of folks were there and there were vendors outside the museum. There was a woman selling cute handmade stuff like cute purses and pins that she made. And she was like, “You have good style. You are like those Japanese fruits. I would love if you modelled for my site.”

In my head I was screaming: Me? A model? You mean I don’t need Tyra Banks validation to be a model?!!?!

“Oh, I would love that,” I said in a really calm voice (like people had said this to me all the time).

Then I ran into my friends and was screaming to them, “Oh my god! Someone thinks I should be a model! Holy shit!”

They laughed.

Then with my newfound superficial confidence I went over to Lovecraft in Silverlake to check out veggie oil cars. Because when you look as good as I was looking, you go down to Silverlake and you let all the hipsters get a good look at you.

They are so freaking cool down there, and I am glad now that I am getting a Veggie oil car when I am. Because Lovecraft really should be selling cars for more than they are. I really believe based on the research I’m doing, that they are underselling themselves. There are only a finite number of cars that can be converted because only a finite number of Mercedes Benz cars exist. And I’ve noticed how hard it is to buy an MB on craigslist, they get snatched up almost immediately.

They were prepping this gorgeous red two door Mercedes that Mandy Moore had bought.

I was jealous. I wanted it.

I test drove a veggie car. I looked so badass. And the car smelled like a french fry as I drove. There was a rumble under my butt from the way the car’s engine is.

I got to talk to other people on the lot. I asked people who had bought cars what they thought. I got to watch them put veggie oil in their tank. The cars are so 80s, it’s really awesome and brings me back to my youth when I was driving it. It reminded me so much of the Buick Regal I once had. I loved looking at the Mercedes thingie at the top of the hood as I drove around Silverlake. I felt so worldly and continental in a Reagan-Era kinda way.

I put down a deposit for a pink one (they paint them custom for you).

I may have it within a month.

I am planning to take such good care of this car. Wax and wash it all the time. Custom plates that say something like “WONGSTA” or “DA WONG” or “YO WONG” or “NO WAR” or “STOPWAR.”

Picture me, driving, smelling like french fries. Looking so badass. Me, an internet model for an obscure handicrafts site.

This is my future.

I see it now.

Category: Blog

Leave a Reply